Previous History Made - Complete My Degree

My post secondary educational career has never been stellar. I found high school relatively easy and had a place on the honour roll over the last three years of school, which also included various sports and activities including three seasons of football, which, of course, entailed 2 hour, practices every day for a couple months. I know I was fortunate because school came easily to me and that is not something everyone can say.

The only thing is, I really did not have to work very hard to get good marks, and when I went to university straight out of high school, I held in for one semester and totally bombed out my second. I simply did not have the discipline or habit of putting that much effort into my work. I went to tech school the following year and achieved accounting, marketing and business admin diplomas and earned generally decent marks in doing so.

BUT, I always had wished that I had gotten my degree instead. I had been living a couple of hours from the closest university for 10 years and tried taking night classes and correspondence but never was very successful. (I still do not have the greatest work ethic when it comes to reading text books (honestly, have you ever read an accounting text?!))

The last couple of years at my job I started to dislike what I was doing. This was for a variety of reasons of which a lot of the blame can probably be placed on my shoulders. I simply wasn’t the same person when I started there (single and 25) as when I left married and 35) and I really did not fit the organization anymore and as a result little meaningless things would bother me. I think when that starts to happen, it is most beneficial to both the employee and the organization for the employee to move on. I still had this desire in the back of my mind that I wanted to finish my schooling and this may have been a part of my desire to move on as well.

My wife, who happens to be considerably younger than me, had been talking about furthering her schooling as well, and I always told her if she wanted to go back to school full time, she should and we could sell our house and I would find a job in the city. I loved the small town I lived in, have many great friends and acquaintances there, but grew up in the city and was missing city life by then anyways. One day in response to my telling her to go to school she asked me why I didn’t go back full time.

This was an absolute revelation for me. I had never once considered going back to school full time because it never seemed like an option for some reason. I immediately wanted to do it (although it took me some time to convince myself to do it). I applied and was accepted to the University of Regina (in my hometown, where I had bombed out years earlier), we told only our parents (at first), who were very supportive (I am truly blessed with people around me who are concerned for my happiness), and we bought a little one-bedroom condo in Regina. A couple of months before my start date I gave my notice at work and was able to tell everyone I knew about what I was doing. I think there was only one or two people who truly did not get it. I had one person ask me when I told them “why!?” Really, what can you say to some like that, if they don’t get it straight off, they never will. I understand the question; I had a good job that paid really well and I was giving it up for two years of no income followed by uncertain job prospects.

Most people were so, so supportive. I had a lot of friends that told me “I wish I could do what you are doing” or, “I wish I had the guts to do what you are doing.” The funny thing is, I was scared as hell. I mean before I knew it I was walking into a classroom with 50 or 60 people almost half my age to do something I wasn’t even sure I had the skills to accomplish. As icing on the cake, on the first day, in my English 100 class our prof told us that if we made one of three certain grammatical errors on our final essay, she would start marking that essay from 50% and deduct from there and that we should be prepared for our marks to drop 30% from our grade 12 English! I’m thinking, “I had a 76% in Grade 12 English, that means I am going to fail this class! What the hell did I get myself into?”

I am happy to say that I ended up with a 78% in her class and even got a letter from the English department inquiring as to whether I would like to consider changing my major to English. That was also the lowest mark I received in the 19 classes I took in the last two years and I convocated with distinction in the spring of this year (if I hadn’t had a couple of poor marks still dogging me from my younger years I would have had great distinction). To say the least, I am super proud of what I was able to accomplish. It took me a couple of semesters to really get over the feeling of “I am not sure I can do this,” but what a feeling to think that and then prove yourself wrong.

The best part was meeting so many wonderful people along the way, the “leaders of tomorrow” as they say, and the opportunity to spend 4 weeks in South Korea on an international business study trip. This trip gave me the opportunity to meet and make friends with people from countries all over the world and I can honestly say it was the most enriching part of my “mature education.”

This accomplishment is probably the biggest stepping-stone in me starting to check things off my bucket list. I had some serious doubts about whether it was the right thing to do (whether it was or wasn’t, can’t dwell on that now) and whether I could do it. I am happy to say I met the challenge head on and came out victorious.

I can not overstate how much the support of my family and friends meant to me in my quest. I thank everyone who encouraged me along the way and thank all the new friends I made who were welcoming to this old man. To my beautiful wife, I can never thank you enough for your support and encouragement, you are my rock and my inspiration in everything I do.

If you want to know more about my trip to Korea, feel free to read what I blogged while I was there. I have not read it in over a year so I am not sure how good it is and I apologize for the abrupt end to it, I traveled in China for two weeks after my course but could not log onto www.blogger.com from there, so somewhere I have posts typed out that I really should post before I loose them but have never gotten around to it.

16. Bike Vietnam

So I am currently sitting at Pearson International Airport in Toronto awaiting a flight home. Sounds glamorous, I know, but I just flew here this morning for a business meeting so it really hasn’t been too exciting… the airport, an office, and back to the airport. I have been nursing a beer for almost an hour and still have 4 more hours to wait before my flight leaves. I could be drunk before I leave but that probably wouldn’t be a great idea since my boss is sitting at the next table and I have only been working for him for about 3 months (maybe after this Friday’s Christmas party it would be OK but not today.)

On my way here this morning I was thinking that I should have booked my return flight for Sunday and got my wife to fly here tonight so we could have a weekend away but I tend to think of these things way too late, besides, her sister is coming from Edmonton on Saturday so we should probably be there to meet her since she is only staying a week.

I am starting to let my thoughts drift, which I tend to do, so back to the thought for the day. My travel today has me thinking about the places I would like to go and as I look at my list, I honed in on one of the older items on my places to go list.

I was a child of the 80s and being from that time Vietnam was a forbidden place. The Vietnam war ended in the mid seventies and so the enemy in many Hollywood movies was the Vietnamese (I am thinking specifically Rambo: First Blood II). This was a place that it seemed at the time (to someone who was in the neighbourhood of 10 years old) a place that someone form the West would never be able to visit).

Then one day I read an article in the paper about travel to Vietnam, the beautiful beaches, low prices, and of course wonderful food. I don’t know what it was but I immediately wanted to go. A beautiful but previously forbidden country… what more can a traveler ask for? If that had not been enough to convince me, on a television program I saw some people on a cruise in Ha Long Bay and I was totally hooked (thus #96 on my list).

Then, a couple of years ago, I saw a program that The Great Adventure People used to have on television in Canada that highlighted their trips. This show featured a biking trip in Vietnam! I love my mountain bike and I have always wanted to do a trip on it, so it (the bike Vietnam trip) immediately went on my “wish list” (which at that time as mostly wish but not much action).

The more I thought about it, the more I wanted to do it and about 2 years ago I decided that this was what I wanted to do for my 40^th birthday. I don’t know if the weather in Vietnam in January is favorable to doing this (I guarantee it is better that in Saskatchewan) but if it doesn’t work I will go at a different tome of year.

There are two barriers to doing this for me. The first is that I am in no shape to go biking around the hills of Vietnam in +40 weather. This I am working on although I think in the new year I am going to set training goals for myself to follow to ensure my success. The second is that my wife has no interest in traveling to Vietnam. She tends to humour me when needed and even flew over to China by herself in the summer of 2009 to meet me in Beijing (after I was done with my 4 week business study class in South Korea). Vietnam, though, is not really at the top of her travel list, but neither was China so you never know. Have a couple of options here, the first is that her sister will likely be back living in either China or Taiwan by then, and I will get her to go visit her where at least we can fly to Tokyo together, or convince her to come on the trip with me (which, of course, I would prefer). The two things I have going in my favour are 1)she is happy she went to China but really has no desire to go back , and 2) she was thoroughly impressed by our previous experience with The Great Adventure People (China Express) and since I hope to do my cycling tour through them, this may be enough to convince her.

Either way, in or around January of 2013, I plan on being on a bike amoungst the green rice terraces of Vietnam and enjoying Pho Bo every evening.

Goodbye Grandma

It has taken me a few days to even begin to get this down in black and white and now it is 2AM and I can’t sleep so I may as well get started. I will apologize in advance because it will probably be long and rambling.

It’s funny how things seem to work sometimes. (Funny strange not funny ha ha). In the last week I have read some good blogs that made me think about my grandparents. The first was by Jacqueline about her wonderful grandmother who had recently turned 100 and the second was by Annette and was entitled Biggest Regrets of the Elderly. Very different articles that made me think about the lives of my grandparents in different ways.

At the time I read these, my grandma was sick with pneumonia and in the hospital. I had the opportunity to go and visit her in the hospital on Monday afternoon. Although she recognized me, she was unable to speak as her illness her taken away her breath and her ability to speak. That afternoon, there were several of us there including her 5 children and a few of their spouses along with myself and a couple of other grandchildren that were able to make it.

When we took a break and went down to the cafeteria for some coffee, the talk was mostly somber. My mother and her siblings discussed funeral arrangements and such as with the state my grandmother was in there was little doubt that she would not be with us much longer. My cousin joked half-heartedly that she would probably surprise us all and make a full recovery and live for ten more years. But it was not meant to be. I got the call from my mother on Tuesday morning that my grandma passed away through the night.

From a personal viewpoint, there are a few good and bad things that I observe. Obviously the first is that I lost my grandma, one of the few people that have been there through my entire life and who have always loved me unconditionally. Let’s face it, grandparents are special people, the people who teach you new things and help you grow as a person but who don’t have the obligation of imposing tight boundaries around you like your parents do (that’s why grandparents are allowed to spoil you).

Without rehashing details I just covered in a previous post, before this week I have lost 5 people in my life that I considered very close to me. This is the first time I had the opportunity to “say goodbye” ahead of time. My mother advised me that if I did not want to go to the hospital and see my grandma in the state she was in it would be understandable (preserve the memory of her as she was while living not dieing). I certainly considered not going, mostly from not wanting to face the reality of the situation, but I am glad I went to see her on what turned out to be her last day with us. Although being able to “say goodbye” certainly doesn’t make it any better when you lose a loved one, I think it helps give some closure and gives a person some appreciation that your loved one is no longer suffering the way they were. I am sure this is a personal choice but I am glad I took the opportunity to see her, especially when I consider how many times in my life I have not taken opportunities when they arose only to lose them permanently (I have vowed to not let this happen anymore).

My grandma was the last of my grandparents that was still alive. My grandparents on my father’s side I never really had the privilege of really knowing. His father died when my dad was only 9 and as long as I can remember my grandma on my dad’s side had been in a home. I vaguely remember visiting what in my memory was her house when I was a small child but for the most part she lived in the nursing home. I (mistakenly I am told) thought she only spoke French because the one time a year when I would go with mom and dad to see her, that was all they spoke. My best memory of her was that although my parents would buy her presents that she would never use or keep, they gave her a cap and gown photo from my high school graduation and she kept it on the table beside her bed. I wish I had gotten to know her better but such are the follies of our youth when we don’t think of these things and life seemingly has no expiry date. My dad passed away when I was 19 and his mother not long after. My only grandfather I ever knew passed away about a year and a half ago. It was quite hard for me because we were very close but I know I am blessed to have had so much time with him and had the opportunity to forge a close bond with him. Although they are both gone now, I am happy that my mother’s parents were fortunate to have long lives that they were able to live in independence. My grandfather was 95 when he passed away and spent almost the first 90 of it living on the farm where he was born, the last years living with grandma (who had just turned 88 last month) in an apartment here in Regina. Neither ever had to live in a nursing home and although they relied on others for things as they got older, I know it is rare to have that kind of independence into your late 80s and 90s.

When I think of my grandparent’s I can always remember so many specific times spent with my grandpa and more of overall memories of my grandma. My grandpa was a person who we would follow around at the farm and who would be happy to take us to do anything and show us anything. He was the kind of forge ahead and get things done kind of person who would sometimes try to do things too fast and end up with memorable accidents. My grandma on the other hand, although never in my grandpa’s shadow, was the behind the scenes person who would have lunch ready for us when we came back and always looked out for us. She enjoyed company but hated to go and visit. She could spend time alone with no problem (I am a lot like that but I would rather be alone looking out at the Caribbean or at a patio bar in Korea by myself and she would rather be at her home alone). She often took jabs about some of her unorthodox behaviors but just as often had staunch defenders in her children and grandchildren. She was a breast cancer survivor. She was loved.

Some of my favorite memories in my life involve my grandparents. When I was in my 20s, if I was around the farm, quite often my cousins (and usually some of their friends) and I would end up out at my grandparents house. Before you knew it there would be a bottle of rye on the table and we would spend hours listening to them tell stories about “the good old days” (and eventually there would be an empty bottle of rye on the table). Six hours could easily go by like a half. More recently, my wife and I would visit them at their apartment to visit and the time would always go so quickly, but I guess that’s how life goes… quickly. Those are the times I miss the most, just sitting and “shooting the shit”.

Sometimes it is these harsh realities of losing the people we care about that gives us the extra jolt we need to get our asses in gear and get really living our lives. I am happy with the way I have been approaching my life recently and I am determined to make this event as a further push to making my life one I can be proud of. So I share my hard earned lessons with you. Like my grandma, be your own person but treat others with respect, in this way you will be surrounded by people who love the person you are and will stand up for your right to be that person when you need them. Please make sure to tell people you love them as often as you can. Don’t wait until tomorrow for anything because it may not come. Do not only cherish your memories but also write them down, memory is fragile and time goes by so quickly. Try to do something everyday that you are proud of (at the end of the day can you look yourself in the eye and be honestly proud of who you are?) Most of all, enjoy life because it is fragile and short and work and stress only shortens it. As Lucille Ball said, “I would rather regret the things I have done then the things I have not.”

I would just like to say to my grandma that I miss you already and I love you so much. I will always remember you. My cousin Jay said it as well as I could hope to, “rest in peace grandma… say hi to grandpa.”

A New Item on the List – #127 Shakespeare Reading Challenge 2011

WhenI was in my early twenties I had this grand plan that I wanted to read (and understand) the plays of William Shakespeare. So for Christmas that year, I asked

for a copy of William Shakespeare: The Complete Works. It was a beautiful book with a padded leather cover and gold stamping. I got the book for Christmas that year and settled in for some deep reading. BUT… it never happened. I read a couple of small parts but lost motivation. The book has followed me around, every once in awhile I had renewed interest in the book but never put the effort into doing the reading.

Then, yesterday, I was reading the blog 101 things to do before you die and read about The Shakespeare Reading Challenge 2011 and decided that maybe this was the incentive I need to actually get reading the book. The contest works like this:

First off, the Levels:

1. Puck: Read 4 plays over the year, 1 of which may be replaced by a performance

2. Desdemona: Read 6 plays, 2 of which may be replaced by a performance

3. Henry V: Read 12 plays, 3 of which may be replaced by a performance

Now, the Rules:

1. All plays must be read between January 1, 2011 and December 31, 2011. Anything begun before that cannot be included.

2. Audio versions are also acceptable but all plays must be unabridged.

3. You don't need to list your plays ahead of time but you may, if you'd like.

4. Review pages for each month will be created but are optional.

I am looking forward to this challenge and hope it will encourage me to read more Shakespeare in the future. It has been more than 20 years since I have read one of his plays but I have such an interest in the period of history when he was around that I am anxious to begin. I would like to say I am shooting for the HenryV level but for now am going to shoot for Desdemona instead. If I can accomplish this, I know I will be very happy.

Special thanks to Elena who put this challenge together for all takers. And now, January 1^st I am ready to get reacquainted with The Bard and give myself the challenge of wading through some Olde English… now all I have to do is find that book.

#124 Work on My Creative Writing at Least 2 Hours per Week for a Year (2/52)

I remember writing a short story once when I was a kid. It started something like, “It was a dark and stormy night. A man in dark clothing was hiding in the dark shadows of a dark road.” O.K. so not really Pulitzer Prize winning but hey I was probably only about 10. I shared my partially finished story with some people I looked up to and they made fun of my lack of writing ability, especially my excessive use of the word “dark.” This event singled the premature end of my writing career and the beginning of a lifelong issue with sharing my creative efforts with others.

I am not trying to put the blame for my failures on anyone else’s shoulders. For one, nobody has ever told me that I can’t do something and secondly, it is my life and I am the one in charge of it. Of course that doesn’t make it any easier to break down the limitations we set for ourselves. In my case, I am afraid of the rejection when someone dislikes what I created. Of course, this is where things don’t make sense because a) most people you share your creations with are genuinely supportive, positive or at least constructive in their criticism and b) when people have disliked me or something I have done, I find it really doesn’t matter to me. So why is this an issue and why have I let this stop me in the past? I don’t know, and really it doesn’t matter as long as I can overcome it in the present.

When I was seventeen, my parents gave me a camera for Christmas. This started a love of photography and throughout the next several years of my life I became the unofficial photographer of the lives of my friends and I. I could always share my pictures with my friends because no one was interested in artistic value and only interested in the good. Although I loved taking pictures I never pushed myself to see what I could do.

All this changed as I approached thirty and I met my wife. She encouraged me to take photography classes and buy a new camera. And then she encouraged me with every batch of photographs I showed her, even having me blow some up large for the walls of her office. She has continued to do this in all my pursuits, painting, education, writing, etc. And for this I thank her because I know I am lucky to have such great support. And if I ever accomplish great things in anything I attempt, it will be thanks to her.

I realize I have strayed a little from the theme of my post, which is writing, but I am just providing a little background for what I am attempting to accomplish with this goal.

For the longest time, whenever I read a book, I remember thinking, “I could never put together a complete enough story to fill up an entire novel. I was, and still am, amazed by the people who can craft the interlocking storylines needed for a truly great novel.

Then, one day I decided that I could do it. I read about a contest called the 3-Day Novel Contest and thought, “this is my chance”. I am not sure what made me decide to take a shot at it or what gave me the idea that I could even accomplish it. The only thing I can think is that that aspiring writer inside me never died in my childhood but only hid, waiting for the opportunity to emerge, for me to release him from his prison.

So, in 2007 I dedicated my Labour Day weekend to writing my first novel. For those of you who don’t know, the 3-Day Novel Contest is a contest in which you begin to write at midnight on the Friday of the September long weekend and have until midnight on Monday. The average novel is approximately 70-120 pages in length (a novella). You are allowed to come up with a basic plot if you want but are not allowed to write any part of the novel before the start time.

I am proud to say that in my first effort, I was able to write a novel that was over 100 pages and almost 27,000 words. Although my novel was not short-listed as one of the best by the contest judges it turned out to be a critically acclaimed novel. Well, by my wife and other friends and relatives that I let read it.

In 2008 I did not attempt the contest as I was using that weekend to prepare for a return to university (that WAS scary but is a story for another day). Then in 2009, I gave it another attempt and came up with another novel, this one closer to 80 pages. Up to this point I haven’t shared it with anyone else, as it is a little too rough around the edges for my liking. This leads me to the reason that this goal is on my list.

I find that I need to set deadlines for myself to be able to get anything done in my writing. I have written a couple of short stories outside of my 3-day but, as much as I enjoy writing I just can’t seem to get myself focused enough to write. I have a notebook full of story ideas but not much else. I have several other goals on my list such as #5 Have a book published, #20 Write a travel article and have it published, and #26 Win a writing contest, that I will never accomplish if I do not do more writing.

This goal originally started as write at lest 1,000 words per week but I have changed it to Work on My Creative Writing at Least 2 Hours per Week for a Year. As I started out on this challenge I realized that to just write my 1,000 words per week would not allow me to produce quality work. I need time to edit and work on plot and character development what I write. So my new goal is to spend at least two hours every week on my writing. When I am on a roll, I can easily write 1,000 words in under an hour. I plan on spending this time not only on writing and developing the stories in my notebook and in my head, but also going back to the two novels that I have written and reworking them until I am happy with them. Then I will submit them to a publisher or contest. Afterwards, I will continue to tweak and edit them until someone in the industry recognizes them as good work.

I am happy to say that this is the second week that I have been involved in this goal and I have written more than one thousand words in each of the last two weeks. This has enabled me to nearly complete a short story that I started late in the summer. I am thinking that by the end of next week, I will have it edited and ready for submitting to a contest.

It just goes to show you what you can accomplish be making small changes in your routines and your life. If I can continue to make these small adjustments to my life, I know this will lead me to the accomplishment of more and more goals as time goals by.

History Made for the First Time - #122 Movember

This is the first item that I check off of my list! Growing a mustache for Movember is something I have wanted to do since I first heard about the fundraiser last year. For those that don’t know, Movember is an event held during the month of November to raise awareness and funds for prostate cancer. During the month of November, men in countries around the world grow mustaches, the idea that a change in a person’s appearance initiates conversation that can be used for raising awareness of prostate cancer and the need for men to get regular exams (prostate cancer is one of the most survivable forms of cancer if caught at an early stage and very deadly if not).

Here is a little blurb on Movember courtesy of the Canadian Movember Website:

The idea for Movember was sparked in 2003 over a few beers in Melbourne, Australia. The plan was simple – to bring the moustache back as a bit of a joke and do something for men’s health. No money was raised in 2003, but the guys behind the Mo realized the potential a moustache had in generating conversations about men’s health. Inspired by the women around them and all they had done for breast cancer, the Mo Bros set themselves on a course to create a global men’s health movement.

In 2004, the first year of fund raising, $55,000 was raised in Australia for the Prostate Cancer Foundation of Australia. Last year a quarter of a million people participated worldwide raising 47 million dollars. I heard on our local news that in Canada this year, we raised 18 million dollars, over twice last year’s 8 million dollars.

Unfortunately, I did not do very well with my fundraising but vow to do a better job next year. If anyone has any interest in donating on my behalf please feel free to donate at http://ca.movember.com/mospace/782212/. If you just want more information on activities where you are from or on the fundraiser of prostate cancer in general go to http://www.movember.com/.

Movember 6

Movember 14th

So that is it, the first item crossed off my list. Considering that I tend to have a five o’clock shadow at the best of times it may not be the most earth shattering thing off of my list by any means. I heard from quite a few people that they could not stand the itchiness that comes along with new hair growth. I seemed to be blessed without this problem so it was really not much of a problem for me at all. I am not the best when it comes to trimming so it is certainly not the nicest mustache ever but I wasn’t in it to win any beauty contests. A few people have even suggested that it looks good on me and that I should keep it… what do you think? I haven’t shaved it off yet but I am thinking this weekend it will be gone. Anyways, it is nice to get the first thing down and know that I can set a goal and actually follow through with it.

Hopefully this will lead to the crossing off of many more things from the list!